I’ve been having the most awful, cortisol-stuffed vein producing days lately. Sh*t keeps happening to me and I’m in a daze. Confusion settles around me like heavy cigarette smoke. It’s hard to feel like there’s ever a way out.
The important thing to know when you’re dealing with a day/week/month like this, is that you are never alone. There is someone who has been there, who has gotten through it, who is currently experiencing the same damn thing as you. Your situation is never 100% unique — there is always someone who has already walked in your path, overcome the sh*t and owned it.
Sometimes sh*t happens for a reason. Whether it was your fault or not, or whether you just had a stroke of awful luck and happenstance, it can bring along an unfortunate series of events. Most people will crumble. Give up. And they will never pick themselves off from being beaten down and throw themselves at whatever challenges them.
But the important thing to know is that you have the amazing ability to control the now. The present. F*ck the past, that’s spilled milk. Done. Over. Worst day of your life? Okay, but that was yesterday. It’s done, you can move on.
Figure out what went wrong, find something you can learn from yesterday.
When sh*t happens, it’s easy to fall into an endless cycle of feeling sorry for yourself.
Don’t. Stop right now.
The freedom that many have can be paralyzing to act — you CAN change the outcome. You CAN do something about it. It might be hard, or take a lot of courage, but there is always something you can do to make yourself happy when you’re not.
The strategy is simple. But I didn’t say it wasn’t hard.
Not Happy? Change Something.
1. Figure out what makes you angry, upset, depressed, frustrated, and stressed.
2. Eliminate or get rid of these things. They are mentally, physically and spiritually destroying you slowly.
3. If the items in #1 require much planning, do that planning now. Need to quit your job that brings tears to your eyes every time you wake up in the morning? Establish a set of action plans to do this month, this week, and tomorrow.
4. Replace the negativity with healthier things that bring happiness. Especially if #1 items will take time to get rid of…paint, vent on the phone with a friend, go out to eat at your favorite restaurant, take a walk at the park, play with your kids or pet.
5. Establish the focus on your emotional state and stress levels, and do things to reduce it: get enough sleep. Eat vegetables and fruit. Drink plenty of water. Exercise. Meditate. Journal. Paint. See a life coach/counselor if you really need to, it truly helps. There is no stigma — help yourself.
Remember this: If you’re not working to make your life better, your life will not get better.